Funny Ways to Kill the Tarrasque
2013-06-12,05:51 AM (ISO 8601) - Top - End - #1
Pixie in the Playground
Funniest ways to "kill" the Tarrasque
I don't care if you've actually done it the way you describe it, or if it's just a theoretical win. Gimme your best and funniest Tarrasque victories. I chose the Tarrasque cause he was the first big time enemy my first party ever faced and I personally love the big lug. I have fought him a couple of times and I have never "killed" him the same way in all the encounters I've had with him.A couple examples I have, whether or not they're funny of course.
Greater Teleport the Tarrasque several thousand feet into the air. It was almost a complete party wipe and I was down to my last spell. I got past his SR, he failed the save, and we both went straight up. I used freedom of movement to get away from his grip and feather fell the entire distance. Once he hit the ground our Wizard wished him into the sun. And yes the party did yell at me for not just Greater Teleporting them away from the Tarrasque.
An Evil campaign I was a part of managed to gain the favor of Graz'zt. And by gain the favor of, I mean our blackguard sold the souls of everyone but himself in order to obtain a high level position in Graz'zt's army and gain an army of demons to summon at his command. (We learned this rather late and were pretty much boned by the time the last of us died). Suffice to say we had an army of demons slowly, but surely, drag the Tarrasque down to the underworld where Graz'zt promptly sent him after Orcus. The DM even allowed our blackguard to control the Tarrasque in a rather epic fight against Orcus. Orcus eventually won, but he was damaged badly enough for Graz'zt to give a fatal blow to him. We then immediately started an all good campaign at epic level which was sent off on a quest to figure out what the hell was going on.
Third and final...
We were bored at one point and just started going through the MM looking at interesting monsters and coming up with fun ways to fight them. After a while we got to T and read through the Tarrasque's "Swallow Whole" ability. It said that his stomach was capable of holding 2 Huge, 8 Large, 32 Medium, 128 Small, or 512 Tiny or smaller creatures. So my buddy randomly chimes in with "what if an army of gnomes trained their entire lives solely to take on the Tarrasque." We all laughed for a good hour coming up with ridiculous outcomes and tactics for it. After a while we all started taking notes. Once we ran out of ideas we looked right at our usual DM and said "Let's test this out!"
So 6 of us each created 25 gnomes specially designed to take on the Tarrasque based solely on what we "knew" from legend. All gnomes were level 16 and their only back story was that they were recruited at a very young age to train and fight one enemy. Soon enough the DM was ready to send a Tarrasque after our l50 gnome army which was primarily fighters, rangers, monks, and bards. We threw in a few casters and rogues here and there, but our main focus was solely melee based and buffing that melee up as much as possible. What happened next was the single longest series of fumbles, crits, and hilarious moments that I've ever experienced in DnD. Over a hundred gnomes died that day. But damn it we beat that Tarrasque!
Those are my 3 best examples, what do you guys have?
2013-06-12,06:01 AM (ISO 8601) - Top - End - #2
Pixie in the Playground
Re: Funniest ways to "kill" the Tarrasque
I came up with another one while helping a buddy of mine make an island for an old wizard to place his tower/school on. He had millions of gold to burn so we invested in a rather large army of golem guards of various CR. One of the things we found was making Effigy monsters. One of the things that can be made into an Effigy is in fact the Tarrasque. yea it cost somewhere around 150,000 gold to make one of them, but if you can gather a bunch of money from the wealthier residents of the area you could have an army of effigy Tarrasque. So why not sick that army after the real deal? How fun would it be to nail a Tarrasque with an army of golem like Tarrasque?
2013-06-12,07:15 AM (ISO 8601) - Top - End - #3
Titan in the Playground
Re: Funniest ways to "kill" the Tarrasque
Or making Simulcra/Ice Assassins of it.Would that spell that hurts the person someone loves work? You could have someone fall in love with Big T, and proceed to cast that on them.
Or Gate in a black hole.
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Originally Posted by Darrin
All gaming systems should be terribly flawed and exploitable if you want everyone to be happy with them. This allows for a wide variety of power levels for games for different levels of players.
I dub this the Snowbluff Axiom.
2013-06-12,07:21 AM (ISO 8601) - Top - End - #4
Spamalot in the Playground
Re: Funniest ways to "kill" the Tarrasque
Note that teleporting the Tarrasque anywhere requires it to be willing or to knock it out first. And even then, you're better off dropping it in the ocean than trying to use falling damage (which it will ignore due to its regeneration.)
But really, the important lesson here is this: Rather than making assumptions that don't fit with the text and then complaining about the text being wrong, why not just choose different assumptions that DO fit with the text?
2013-06-12,07:24 AM (ISO 8601) - Top - End - #5
Dwarf in the Playground
Re: Funniest ways to "kill" the Tarrasque
A little background: I was playing one warlock through all of our campaigns, (gaining and losing levels as necessary via backstory) the inside joke being that he was like The Doctor. well our campaign switched between eberron, dragonlance and forgotten realms via the Warlock's curse.the curse? intermintently jumping between realities, often bringing the party along, so one day we're attempting to topple a drow stronghold in a homebrew world and (when the campaign was broken due to a DM mistake in throwing 45 drow at us in a cave, which we annilated and gained way too much experience for putting us out of level range) then everyone is sucked into faerun, where we promptly notice the tarrasque is sleeping getting the great idea of attempting to tame it, i use dimention door to get to its neck where i attempt to ride it.
then the dice kick in, as periodically i had a 1% chance of campaign-shifting when i did something that took concentration (spellcasting in combat being one)
I vanish, taking the tarrasque with me to the old campaign world, at which point the party wizard uses some magic item(bracelet of friends?) to summon me back while leaving the tarrasque to ravage the drow.
P.S. the curse had mechanics for which campaign it'd drop me into, but id always appear where i had left from.
Under no circumstances should a player die, that's not to say a DM should go easy on a player, but rather as a player, one should be intelligent, one should understand their limits, and know when not to push the big red button.
dead players aren't fun to DM for. If your DM has taken the time to create a world for you, please don't litter it with PC corpses.
2013-06-12,07:25 AM (ISO 8601) - Top - End - #6
Ogre in the Playground
Re: Funniest ways to "kill" the Tarrasque
Does marrying the tarrasque count as defeat? if so, then my Succubus Bard/Marshal won.
2013-06-12,07:58 AM (ISO 8601) - Top - End - #7
Firbolg in the Playground
Re: Funniest ways to "kill" the Tarrasque
Not sure this works, but I would look at Planshifting to the most dangerous place in existence, then gate Big T to your location, then planeshift back, leaving him stranded.The positive energy would cause him to explode just like everything else.
2013-06-12,08:10 AM (ISO 8601) - Top - End - #8
Orc in the Playground
Re: Funniest ways to "kill" the Tarrasque
What if he exploded and then� And then exploded again?
The positive energy would cause him to explode just like everything else.
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2013-06-12,08:17 AM (ISO 8601) - Top - End - #9
Halfling in the Playground
Re: Funniest ways to "kill" the Tarrasque
- Put skill ranks into Profession (Novelist)
- Write the Twilight book series and 50 Shades of Grey series in the campaign world.
- Use the Wish spell to have the entire contents of both series simultaneously read into it's mind.
- Watch the Tarrasque go comatose and it's brain shut off for all eternity.
- Evil laugh.
2013-06-12,09:09 AM (ISO 8601) - Top - End - #10
Titan in the Playground
Re: Funniest ways to "kill" the Tarrasque
You can't force unique creatures through a Gate.
2013-06-12,09:16 AM (ISO 8601) - Top - End - #11
Firbolg in the Playground
Re: Funniest ways to "kill" the Tarrasque
Low int.Just wave meat in front of it, or entice it some other way. Get it to charge you through the gate if you have to. Poke it with a stick!
Forcing isn't a problem, just a wrinkle in the plan.
2013-06-12,09:21 AM (ISO 8601) - Top - End - #12
Ogre in the Playground
Re: Funniest ways to "kill" the Tarrasque
hurl a half dozen instant fortresses into its gizzard when it swallows you. you're safe, its not.
2013-06-12,09:32 AM (ISO 8601) - Top - End - #13
Halfling in the Playground
Re: Funniest ways to "kill" the Tarrasque
Trick it into biting it's tail and using its swallow whole ability. Watch the Tarrasque blinks out of existence as it tries to eat itself.*WARNING* This may also cause a black hole to form.
2013-06-12,09:55 AM (ISO 8601) - Top - End - #14
Firbolg in the Playground
Re: Funniest ways to "kill" the Tarrasque
Have it swallow a Decanter of Endless Water. Use "Shout" to turn on the Geyser. Fill Big T with thousands and millions of gallons of water.Use "Heroes Feast" to feed the Tarrasque every day. It's not evil, it's just way hungry after sleeping for a few hundred years. Keep feeding it until it goes back to sleep. This method approved by the Grandmother's Guild of Thanksgiving Dinner Preparers.
Use any flying ability to get above it. It can't jump very high. Keep dropping stuff that does non-regenerate damage (check with DM - acid?). Or keep taunting it from just out of reach and lead it away from your friends and toward your enemies. The Tarrasque is a wonderful way to depopulate a border region so you can seize it.
2013-06-12,10:33 AM (ISO 8601) - Top - End - #15
Ogre in the Playground
Re: Funniest ways to "kill" the Tarrasque
Yeah...then said region is populated by a Tarrasque....so not an improvement.
The Tarrasque is a wonderful way to depopulate a border region so you can seize it.
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2013-06-12,12:36 PM (ISO 8601) - Top - End - #16
Firbolg in the Playground
Re: Funniest ways to "kill" the Tarrasque
Big T roams for a few weeks, then takes a centuries long nap. Not too long a wait.
Yeah...then said region is populated by a Tarrasque....so not an improvement.
- Put skill ranks into Profession (Novelist)
- Write the Twilight book series and 50 Shades of Grey series in the campaign world.
- Use the Wish spell to have the entire contents of both series simultaneously read into it's mind.
- Watch the Tarrasque go comatose and it's brain shut off for all eternity.
- Evil laugh.
You need NEGATIVE ranks in Profession(novelist). Put your ranks into Profession(salesman).
Last edited by Shining Wrath; 2013-06-12 at 12:38 PM.
2013-06-12,12:39 PM (ISO 8601) - Top - End - #17
Barbarian in the Playground
Re: Funniest ways to "kill" the Tarrasque
Cast undermaster, then cast celerity and bury it under millions of cubic feet of earth. Go back to bed, dammit!
2013-06-12,12:43 PM (ISO 8601) - Top - End - #18
Titan in the Playground
Re: Funniest ways to "kill" the Tarrasque
"I dun wanna! I aven't had my dessert yet!"
Cast undermaster, then cast celerity and bury it under millions of cubic feet of earth. Go back to bed, dammit!
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All gaming systems should be terribly flawed and exploitable if you want everyone to be happy with them. This allows for a wide variety of power levels for games for different levels of players.
I dub this the Snowbluff Axiom.
2013-06-12,12:52 PM (ISO 8601) - Top - End - #19
Titan in the Playground
Re: Funniest ways to "kill" the Tarrasque
While acid will stop a troll's regeneration, it won't with the Tarrasque. Nothing gets past the Tarrasque's regeneration.Keep dropping stuff that does non-regenerate damage (check with DM - acid?).
Now, unlike several other forms of damage, it isn't outright immune to acid, so you could still do this. It'd just take a heck of a lot of acid, to do more damage in every round than it can regenerate.
2013-06-12,12:56 PM (ISO 8601) - Top - End - #20
Barbarian in the Playground
Re: Funniest ways to "kill" the Tarrasque
My DM wanted us to know we weren't the big guns in the world (this was in the early days of 3.5) and was leafing through the MM to figure out how to show his 8th level party who was boss. So he pulled out the tarresque.We all cursed like 14 year olds (repeatedly using fairly benign words) and ran away. It didn't chase us for long, but it gave us an idea. We used illusion magic (I was a gnome illusionist) to lead it towards a kingdom we'd angered (the reason why the DM wanted us to realize the world was not our sandbox). By then the tarresque was really hungry and sick of chasing a herd of buffalo that always outran him (not quite always, we also summoned a few celestial buffalo for him to catch).
So started terrorizing town.
You know the old adage when in doubt, kill it with fire? We had it in the middle of town surrounded by wooded buildings, so we just set the town on fire. Nobody could stop the fire because of the tarresque, and the tarresque got really badly burned. The DM exiled us from the campaign world for burning down the only city he'd detailed in it (which also happened to be the capital of the primary kingdom.)
The tarresque "died" with the world I guess.
2013-06-12,01:17 PM (ISO 8601) - Top - End - #21
Orc in the Playground
Re: Funniest ways to "kill" the Tarrasque
I created an epic spell, origin of species tarrasque. It was an ******* spell to cast, requires ungodly numbers of spell level participants in a week long ritual, but we created a breedable mate for the original tarasque.They bred *really* fast. Like rabbits. And those babies grew in a matter of days. Within a few months the entire planet was devoid of food of any kind, and the entire tarrasque race starved to death. Then I reanimated their corpses to take over hell. Even asmodeus himself couldnt stand up to hundreds of thousands of undead tarrasque charging him down.
2013-06-12,01:28 PM (ISO 8601) - Top - End - #22
Dwarf in the Playground
Re: Funniest ways to "kill" the Tarrasque
Research a new Spell: Summon Spanish Inquisition.Catch him off guard, Because NO ONE, not even Big T, expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Profit!
Proud owner of one internet and three cookies
2013-06-12,01:44 PM (ISO 8601) - Top - End - #23
Titan in the Playground
Re: Funniest ways to "kill" the Tarrasque
Feyrmind, did your DM not notice that the Tarrasque is immune to fire?
2013-06-12,03:27 PM (ISO 8601) - Top - End - #24
Pixie in the Playground
Re: Funniest ways to "kill" the Tarrasque
oh yea, forgot to mention that the DM homebrewed teleport a bit for chuckles. Basically any "unwilling" target could make a will save to not go where the teleport would take them. Also because the falling damage is all one set rather than separate damage, the Tarrasque would only soak 15 damage from the several hundred D6.
Note that teleporting the Tarrasque anywhere requires it to be willing or to knock it out first. And even then, you're better off dropping it in the ocean than trying to use falling damage (which it will ignore due to its regeneration.)
2013-06-12,05:11 PM (ISO 8601) - Top - End - #25
Titan in the Playground
Re: Funniest ways to "kill" the Tarrasque
That's exactly what would happen, in fact. Over and over. All-natural fireworks!
What if he exploded and then� And then exploded again?
I think you mean the other way around, because that makes no sense. (Also, falling damage is not subject to DR, for what that's worth.)
Also because the falling damage is all one set rather than separate damage, the Tarrasque would only soak 15 damage from the several hundred D6.
That's RAW for you; 100% Rules-Legal, 110% silly.
"Common sense" and "RAW" are not exactly on speaking terms
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2013-06-12,07:04 PM (ISO 8601) - Top - End - #26
Ogre in the Playground
Re: Funniest ways to "kill" the Tarrasque
falling damage is also capped at 20d6, meaning it wouldnt suffer hundreds of d6...
I think you mean the other way around, because that makes no sense. (Also, falling damage is not subject to DR, for what that's worth.)
2013-06-12,07:22 PM (ISO 8601) - Top - End - #27
Ettin in the Playground
Re: Funniest ways to "kill" the Tarrasque
I always found it weird that terminal velocity was one of the ruleset's biggest nods to real-world physics existing. It's certainly not "Rule of Cool." And weird things can end up happening with the limit.
falling damage is also capped at 20d6, meaning it wouldnt suffer hundreds of d6...
Ah well. As DM, I am partial to terrain challenges, and height being a non-issue later in the game (supposing that somehow they can't teleport or fly...it does happen) is kind of disappointing. Oh well.
Anyway, what I normally do is just send a large rock/creature/object after the falling creature after a moment.
Also, I like the matchup between terminal velocity capping falling damage, but falling object damage is not likewise capped (making a number of "I Drop Big Things" builds possible).
Anyway, enough rambling! To the OP, I actually almost never use the Tarrasque. Pretty cliched, in my mind, and there being only one, yet it pops up in every campaign that gets past a certain level. Just weird. In any case, the funniest way to kill it is mirror of opposition or Aleax tricks, lock it in endless combat with itself in some cavern somewhere. It overcomes it's own DR, but I think the regen still holds, meaning they just keep slugging it out forever.
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2013-06-12,08:51 PM (ISO 8601) - Top - End - #28
Ogre in the Playground
Re: Funniest ways to "kill" the Tarrasque
I made a level 22 Druid that turned into a Gerivar with feats and a few buffs (including Arms of the Grillon) that got 24 vorporal attacks per round with AC about 95 and about a bagillion hp, doing 750 - 900 damage per round with DR 10/adamantite and magic, regen 8, only gotten around by cold or acid, with a buttload of immunities, including immunity to cold and resist acid 60.is the terrasque vulnerable to vorporal? I dont think he would die, but it would hurt I think!
But he could solo the Terraspue with no epic spell casting and not even level 9 spells.
EDIT: other than Miracle
Last edited by Immabozo; 2013-06-12 at 08:51 PM.
Lol Bad bozo. Bad.
Certainly if you have magic, or magic items that specify that is how that goes, it does. why? Because MAGIC! Does that mean that is how that works in general? Well, the same way that a wizard cast a finger of death on something and that means that whatever he points at must make a save or die. Well, I guess thats ok, cause in D&D, death doesn't stop them from living.
Barbarians are sweet at first level, especially if the main goal is indiscriminate murder.
2013-06-12,09:09 PM (ISO 8601) - Top - End - #29
Ogre in the Playground
Re: Funniest ways to "kill" the Tarrasque
Not to mention (if my math is correct) to teleport a collosal creature you have to be 48th level. By then taking on the tarrasque should be small potatoes even for a martial character.
Note that teleporting the Tarrasque anywhere requires you have to be willing or to knock it out first then, you're better off dropping it in the ocean than to use falling damage (which it will ignore due to its regeneration.)
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2013-06-12,09:18 PM (ISO 8601) - Top - End - #30
Troll in the Playground
Re: Funniest ways to "kill" the Tarrasque
I'm not 100% positive, but doesn't Vile damage technically override Big T's regeneration?
While acid will stop a troll's regeneration, it won't with the Tarrasque. Nothing gets past the Tarrasque's regeneration.
Now, unlike several other forms of damage, it isn't outright immune to acid, so you could still do this. It'd just take a heck of a lot of acid, to do more damage in every round than it can regenerate.
Source: https://forums.giantitp.com/showthread.php?287657-Funniest-ways-to-quot-kill-quot-the-Tarrasque
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