Might Shave This Weekend Haha Starting to Look Like a Hobo Again

Anybody prattles on about some sort of "Zombie Apocalypse." I'k tired of zombies on Tv set and Facebook. I have seen very few instances where zombies are attacking and consuming people that I know. Near of the zombies I am acquainted with are merely very, very tired parents.

More often, I accept been observing a different kind of invasion that is less dangerous, but much more existent.  A twenty-four hours rarely goes past that I don't run into testify of information technology either on Facebook, or stuck to my fridge.  Maybe you lot have seen it as well:

Our lovely daughters are being scooped up by hobos, and are somehow being coerced into marrying them. It is becoming a veritable epidemic.

I keep seeing engagement and wedding photos where the bride looks like a lovely princess – standing next to a guy who hasn't shaved in weeks and needs a haircut. One can only hope he bathed for the photo shoot.

To give them the benefit of the doubt, there is a slight possibility that the hobos were not actually aware of the photo shoot. I can imagine a telephone call like this:

(Broken-hearted fiancee texts frantically and gets no response – she resorts to making an bodily telephone call to her hobo fiance:)

"Where are yous!"
"In my parent's basement. Where else?"
"Did yous forget well-nigh out engagement?"
"I guess. Oh man!"
"And so yous did forget?"
"Nah, I merely got killed on Halo."
"How fast can you lot get here?"
"Where?
"The condemned barn by the old highway."
"Why are we going there?"
"Our engagement pictures -recollect?"
"Oh yeah. Why a barn?"
"Because I like the aesthetics."
– silence –
"Considering it's pretty."
"Oh. OK. I'1000 on my way."
"Expect! Remember to wearable those clothes I bought for y'all last week?"
"Will do."
"One more thing."
"What?"
"When is the concluding time you lot showered?"
"Sunday, but I wet my pilus downward last night, and shaved right before No-Shave November."
"Perfect. I love your manly stubble."
"Do I have time to mayhap eat something and accept a nap?"
"Did yous stay up all nighttime playing again."
"Yeah."
"It's OK – you tin can use some of my night circle concealer when you get here. Hurry!"

And and so it goes. Another cute bride captures one of the well-nigh important experiences of her life standing next to an unkempt hobo. Granted, at that place would be fewer hobos if the girls did non encourage information technology by proverb things similar. "I honey your long hair." Or "I recall your beard looks awesome."

Years from now, I tin encounter a minor girl perched on that same bride's lap as they await through a photo anthology together.

"Mommy, yous look so beautiful in your wedding dress"
"Thanks sweetheart. It was a very special twenty-four hour period."
"Then how come Daddy looks similar a hobo?"
"Well honey, dorsum and then we thought it looked cool."
"Mommy, you're so silly!"
"Trends change, and what looks light-headed at present, was popular dorsum then."
"Is that why your eyelashes looked then weird?"
"We're done hither."

I still adore a immature man who can return from a mission and nevertheless look like a returned missionary six months, or 6 years later.

I can hear the screams and keyboards furiously clicking already:

"MMM, you are sooo judgmental!  Stop information technology!"
"MMM looks on the outward appearance, the Lord looks upon the heart."
"End judging! President Uchtdorf says!"
"Most guys expect impaired with beards, merely my fiance looks hot!"
"Are you maxim you tin can't be spiritual and look like a hobo?"
"Why fixate on this when there are so many other more than important things we could talk about."
"You are so out-dated!"

And so save your breath. I'grand just saying I've seen the cycle before – just similar bong-bottom jeans.  Dorsum in the seventy's, a lot of young men were growing their hair out – anywhere they could – because that's what the counter-culture style of the times was dictating. And like zombies, many followed suit. It seems that we are running through that same cycle over again. It will eventually fade. The youth of the 70'southward did not take a corner on the lemming market.

I am not saying that the young men who look like hobos and are marrying our daughters are not fine, worthy, ethical young men. I'm just maxim that information technology'due south a little disappointing. And this is non my idea – President KImball said it much better dorsum in the '78, but it bears repeating:

"Let me confess ane of the sad disappointments I sometimes feel:  The returned missionary who, after two years of taking swell pride in how he looks and what he represents, returns to this campus or some other like identify to see how quickly he tin let his hair abound, how fully he can develop a mustache and long sideburns and push to the very margins of advisable grooming, how clumpy his shoes get, how tattered his apparel are, how shut to being grubby he tin can get without being refused comprisal to the schoolhouse.  That, my young returned missionary brethren, i southward 1 of the great disappointments in my life."

Spencer Due west. Kimball BYU Devotional, September 12, 1978 (Full link here)

And then it goes. The Hobo Apocalypse is upon us. We but need to ride it out, while a generation of young couples figures out that there are more than important things than mode.  For more than thoughts and quotes on this topic from the prophets, expect here. Or, for a less credible source, this postal service of mine here.

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Source: https://www.thuswesee.com/2013/01/the-hobo-apocalypse/

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